Jungle law
by 8annie81
Summary: This is an inaccurate remake of the jungle law episode. Featuring humanized penguins. It ain't pretty, but if you give it some tough love in the review category maybe I can fix that.
1. Crumbling world

**Marlene's POV**

"Monday." I groaned exhaustedly to an equally exhausted looking classmate.

She nodded and then thudded her head down on the desk.

Boredly I looked around the room. Re-reading old health posters and posters of animals that said things like, "There was homework?!" and an especially cute one that said, "You otter be working!". After a while the bell rang and the teacher had still not arrived.

So Doris, an A plus student stood and began reading love letters she'd found shoved in her locker aloud to the class. She and her friends all giggled and teased the unknown boy.

Well they didn't know, but I had a pretty good idea.

After about ten minutes the schools assistant nurse opened the door. She was a perky blond woman with blue eyes and a high, swingy pony tail.

"Ms. Rin isn't here today class. She left unexpectedly and since she hadn't planned to be out, she was unable to leave an assignment for you girls to do." Ms. Shauna told us.

The class began to buzz. No work? After we'd calmed down she continued, "I thought that since its such a nice day... We could all enjoy some time outside."

A few of the people who were more awake cheered. I myself did a little smirking. Today the boys would probably be outside playing soccer or basketball or some such thing. Maybe I'd say hey to Skipper and his friends.

* * *

**Skippers POV**

"Damn." I muttered under my breath.

It had been one sucky move after another. First coach announced that we would not be playing dodgeball. He seemed to be looking pointedly at Rico and I.

Then he said we'd be playing soccer. And he defiantly looked at Rico and I when he said, you two are my goalies.

And then worst came to worst. I got stuck under those stupid goal posts with my good amigo Kowalski pleading with me to let him make a goal to impress Doris.

"She's looking this way!" He whispered. "Please Skipper!"

I looked back in the direction he was looking. Sure enough doll face was giggling, but not at Kowalski. She was giggling at me and Kowalski was daft to it.

I almost relented when I saw Kowalski had enlisted Private to pull a puppy dog on me. It was a crafty move I'll admit. But I never lose.

Kowalski made a pass to the left. I caught the ball easy and had it to Rodrigez, a teammate of mine in no time.

Kowalski had sighed dejectedly and went after the ball again. This happened three more times.

"Be passing it to me!" An annoyingly familiar voice called. I had the ball in hand and Julien was my only teammate not blocked. It seems like my own strategist had it out for me. Kowalski looked up from blocking Rodriguez and gave me a cheeky smile.

Reluctantly I passed to my dreaded teammate. When he'd tried to kick the ball he'd fallen down and sent the ball flying backwards right at my head. I ducked out of the way and glared at him.

"Are you mad man!?" I'd yelled.

"Oh be shutting up I didn't touch you."

We exchanged a few more words and then apparently I blacked out again. Next thing I knew I was being pulled off Julien.

"I didn't see what happened." The coach told us. "I know you love to instigate." He told Julien. "But you've got a short temper."

He ran his hand through his balding hair. "Seeing as how everything's fine...I'll let it go. Everyone hit the showers!"

I did feel ashamed. Julien's not right in the head. I know that. He just gets on my nerves like ants on a log.

"Sorry Skipper." Kowalski had said dejectedly. "I thought if I couldn't showcase stellar athlete skills I'd woo Doris with strategy.

i frowned for a moment and stopped walking. I'd tried to be stern and angry with Kowalski but after a second of seeing my friends looking afraid of me I buckled. "Tell you what, I think your strategy was aces. You got a goal scored. I say we go for snow cones after school."

The others beamed. "Really Skipper?" Kowalski asked amazed.

"Yep." I said and then punched his arm. "So long as you're buying!"

His face fell a little but he kept his cool about it. "Heh heh. Way to pull a fast one Skipper."

* * *

**Marlene's POV**

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. After just a few minutes in the restroom I came out and saw Skipper and Julien fighting, again.

Well not really fighting. More like the students and the coach were trying to haul Skipper off of Julien as Julien yelled, "Not to be hitting in the face! The pretty, pretty face!". The weird thing was that Kowalski kept apologizing. What did he do?

Whatever it's not my business. Those boys are some of the weirdest I know.

* * *

**Kowalski's POV**

Skipper'd taken his last black-out rather calmly. He'd recently asked me to help him hide his post traumatic stress symptoms from the others. The incredibly ludicrous stunt I'd just pulled..

And Doris didn't even notice my strategy.

Stop it Kowalski! Skipper is more important than that, that..._angelic, brilliant, raveshing-_

"Kowalski? You got noodles in your noggin? Hit the showers man!" Skippers had chastised.

Sucked from my dreamworld I'd jolted back to reality. I was instantly reminded that most of my classmates were in various stages of undress. Including Skipper.

"Yes sir." I mumbled. And soon joined the others in the shower.

After becoming accustomed to the frigid waters, that surprisingly didn't bother me all that much, Skipper voiced what I had, at the time, believed to be mere paranoia.

"Hey!" He'd called suddenly. "Those construction vehicles are way too close! They'll hit the building!"

Some kids had scoffed. Yes, the gymnasium we were in was scheduled for demolition. But obviously not before the new one was opened, next week.

But the construction vehicle got louder and louder.

* * *

**Ms. Shauna's POV**

"Uh... . Should the wrecking ball be that close to the gym?" A student had asked me.

I turned to see the ball swing back. My heart stopped and then my legs just went. Without thinking at ran at the noisy vehicle.

"Stop!" The man at the machine couldn't hear me. "Stop, stop please! There are students in there!"

Some of the girls ran up alongside me yelling, stop as well.

Finally the man heard us. He pulled out an orange ear plug. "What?"

It'd been too late. The wrecking ball hit the building.

"There are students...in there." I'd said with every hint of sadness I felt.

* * *

**Private's POV**

Skipper had begun forcing everyone out the emergency exit. Exclaiming that we were under attack.

"Skippah is this some kind of drill?" I'd asked cautiously reaching for my towel.

"No we're under-!" He'd been cut off as he pulled me towards the door by my arm.

Suddenly the very room we had been standing in was in shambles. We got up from the ground slowly. I was frightened, but Skipper had been visibly shaking.

"What was that!" A boy exclaimed.

I'd looked to Skipper in panic. He was peering at the building. I followed his eyes and saw that a recking ball had just gone through the gym.

"I thought demolition was next week."

Skipper responded with a growl. "So did everyone else. I bet Blowhole did this."

Despite the situation I was able to roll my eyes and smirk. Skipper was a predictable one.

"Take cover!" Skipper yelled suddenly.

Kowalski gasped. "Females!" He yelled.

Throught the dust a few girls became visible. And so was Ms. Shauna! What was she doing here!

Then I gasped too. "What if Ms. Shauna saw me naked?"

"That's what we're taking cover for!" Skipper exclaimed.

* * *

**_This last bit is a legitimate flashback _**

**_Skipper's POV_**

_I think I almost blacked out again. But the crisis has not been averted._

_The girls health class is coming within spitting distance trying to figure out what happened. And every boy here is naked._

_The casualties will be high._


	2. Everything that could go wrong

**Skipper's POV**

"Rico!" I whispered as harshly as I could without being spotted by the now freely roaming girls. I ducked down as one passed a little too near by.

"Hide Rico!" Private urged.

"Find cover!" Kowalski suggested.

He looked at us blankly. Then finally he walked in our direction.

"Wut?"

"Cover up or hide solider!" I told him. Pointedly not looking at him.

"Why?" He asked.

"Don't start that now. Just hide yourself! That's an order."

So this genius climbs into the tree above my head. I'm down here in a bush. Kowalski's to my left, Privates to my right, Maurice and freaking Julien behind and to the side of us and now Rico straight up.

My line of vision has now been cut to straight ahead.

* * *

**Marlene's POV**

Ms. Shauna took off running. Yelling, "Stop!".

Oh No! The man in control of the wrecking ball didn't know the guys were in there still! I followed Ms. Shauna yelling too, but we couldn't stop him in time.

After a moment of sombering silence I saw someone through the dust. Then a bunch of people. They'd made it! "Look! The guys are over there!" I called.

We took off to see what all'd happened.

* * *

**Private's POV**

"Private!"

I covered my self and my face colored.

"No Private, not Privates. You're on my foot." Skipper whispered.

"Oh." I flushed again. "I hate my name just a tad bit right now."

"Understood." Kowalski commented.

"We're in hostile a situation boys. We need clothes and fast."nSkipper dictated to us.

We all agreed.

"I cannot be letting anyone be seeing me naked!" Julien exclaimed.

"I'm with his royal majesty on this one!" Maurice added hastily.

"Right. So here's what we do." Skipper continued.

* * *

**Kowalski's POV**

"Under no circumstances are to any of you follow me, understand?" Skipper asked.

We mumbled agreement.

"Alright. The new gym has a front door, a back door and roof ventilation." He described. "The football players uniforms should already be inside. Private take the back door-."

Rico giggled so Skipper stopped talking to throw a stick at him.

"Ow."

"As I was saying Private takes the back door with Kowalski while and Maurice and Rico take the roof. Once you're clothed, distribute the remaining uniforms to our classmates."

"Awww no. I ain't climbing a roof naked."

Skipper got sarcastic very quickly. "Rico's a professional. You won't get caught. Besides it'd be against the creo to send Rico alone. Never swim alone."

I quickly handed out skimatics of the plan Skipper had just described.

* * *

**Skippers POV**

"What about you Skippah?" Private asked.

"More importantly what about me? What am I to be doing?" Julien asked obnoxiously.

I chose to ignore the latter and responded to Private. "There won't be enough uniforms for everyone so I'm sneaking into the drama clubs wardrobe. I'll bring extra clothes as needed."

"Uh? Hello stupid guy. You are forgetting me again. Do not be forgetting your future prom king!"

I growled a little, but contained myself. "On five we move out! One, two, three, four, five, go!"

I took off running as fast as I could from corner to corner. I hid any way I could. In bushes, behind or inside garbage containers, under the stairs if the portables. I was making good time.

Now all there was, was a big stretch of grass between me and the main building. No way could I cross that undetected.

"Sooo. What now?" Julien asked.

"I think if I-. Julien!" I looked to my left and growled. He was under the stairs with me.

"Yeah?" He asked boredly. "Tell me you are having a plan."

"Of course I have a plan!" I defended.

"Okay, okay." He huffed. "Testy."

There's no getting through to this idiot. Alright Skipper. Steele yourself. Julien is an idiot. But he's a civilian idiot.

"Alright Ringo." I said slowly. "You took a few years of gymnastics, right?"

"Yes! I am amazingly talented gymnist, but that is old news. Dance is the new craze with the kids now."

Here's where I tried to lose him. I smirked devilishly. "Well, then try to keep up."

On the other side of the portable there was a newly planted tree. It still had strings on either side holding it upright.

Swiftly I swung onto the top of the stairs and from the stairs to the roof of the portable. From there I used the tree to catapult myself all the way to the ledge over the door of the main building. I looked back for a moment feeling I'd left Julien in the dust.

Unfortunately he was flying through the air. I dodged to the left and he hit the end of the ledge with his midsection.

I sighed with annoyance, and dropped down from the ledge, quickly running into the school.

* * *

**Julien's POV**

At this point I am almost Thinking Skipper does not like my assistance. So I decide I shall have to assist harder.

I go into the school and Skipper is against the candy giving machine with his back.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

He shushed me and stayed all shutty-uppity against the candy box.

"Do not be shushing m-." He covered my mouth and gave me the angry glare.

Then a girly student walked down the hall and to the outside. She yelled from the door, "There aren't any boys here." She seemed sad. She must have the sadness from missing her king.

Skipper made quick with the pulling me down the hall. Being much to rough with my arm.

"You are hurting my wrist! Stop with the running!" I told him.

"Hey I heard someone!" The girl at the door yelled. Footsteppys followed her to us.

Skipper pulled again, hurting me, into a janitors closet. It was being filthy in there.

* * *

**Skipper's POV**

"Listen, Ringo." I hissed pushing a mop out of my face. "Unless you wanna get us both caught you've got to be quiet!"

Suddenly something caught my eye. An old t-shirt. I smirked.

"Look. Do not be telling me to be quiet."

"Ringo. Here's a shirt. Put it on and go away."

"Haha!" He said noisily. I am having clothes now!"

"This way I heard someone!" A girl called.

"Dammit Ringo!"

"Two people!"

So I'd had it. I shoved the shirt into Julien's hands and pushed him out the door. Then I forced a trash can under the door handle and checked the skimatic Kowalski had given me.

Sure enough I had my way out. I got through the vent in the nick of time. Outside the door I could hear that Julien had been found. He immediately ratted me out.

I dropped out of the vent into an empty hallway just a little ways down from the auditorium.

Home free. I felt home free!

* * *

**Marlene's POV**

What a scare! First we thought, they'd all died. Then we had no idea where most of them were and the ones we found, were naked! So I volunteered to get clothes from the drama department.

I honestly thought...

I thought a lot of my classmates had died.

* * *

Skipper's POV

Making my way to a stage seemed ironic at the time, but it's where the clothes were.

But then the stage side door opened and a rack of clothing was being pushed down the hall.

There were drinking fountains built into the wall in such a way that the wall between the two fountains was lower than the walls beside the fountains. So I was able to hide there, but Marlene was taking the clothes away. I knew I had to act fast.

From the other end of the hallway I heard more girls coming.

Then I saw my salvation. Across from me was the mens room. I tensed up and prepared to dash forwards, but I had to go at just the right moment.

* * *

**Marlene's POV**

"Hey Marlene!" A tall girl named Shelah called. "We found more boys!"

"Who?" I asked quickly?

"Julien, Kowalski, Private, Maurice and, Rico!"

If she had said just one more name..

Suddenly the cart I was pushing was lurched to the side. A flash moved past and the door to the boys room slammed open and then shut again.

I couldn't help but smile. Now who did I know with skills like that?

Sure enough a moment later Skipper walked out in a pair of denim jeans. I rushed foreword to hug him. He was surprised and quickly pushed me back.

After clearing his throat a few times he got down to business. "Ahem. Everyone made it out before the building was struck. We just need to find them."

* * *

Skipper's POV

When I planned my attack on the clothes cart I didn't think people would get emotional.

Every girl I saw askef the same questions, "Did _ make it out. Is _ okay?"

I kept saying everyone's fine. Even the coach and the nurse were asking. Teachers, a few parents, a news crew! What was the entire city of New York going to ask?

Sheesh!

When we got to a certain point the boys met Marlene and I.

They were all in football uniforms. Sans Private who I guess snagged our male cheerleader's digs. I hope that doesn't mean anything.

"No girls beyond this point." Private told Marlene.

I took that as my cue and turned to Chuck Charles. "That means you. Camera off, now beat it!"

He stuttered a but as the boys and I walked away towing the cart. A few more guys in the football uniforms helped us pass out clothes. After my remark Charles and his crew left.

All in all, a pretty calm day at Central high.


End file.
